Ask Gearographer: What Do Women Want?


Dear Gearographer,

Why can’t my girlfriend tell me what she wants? If I ask where she wants to go to dinner she says, “I don’t care.” If I ask what she wants for Christmas she says “I don’t care.” I’m not a fool and I’m not falling for that, but I still don’t know what she wants. Can you help a brother out?

No Clue in Natchez


Dear No Clue,

We have a friend who wants to open a restaurant called the I Don’t Care Café. That way, when every women in the world says “I don’t care” when asked where to dine, well…you get the picture. We expect business will be booming!

As far as Christmas presents, or any present for that matter which you should bestow upon your girlfriend from time to time, well, we can help. All she and most women really want is your affection, compassion and attention. Women want hugs, caresses and compliments. That and diamonds: big, honking diamonds.


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Michael Ryan

Michael is a full-time musician and freelance writer residing in Morrison, Colorado. He enjoys downhill skiing, traveling and attempting to play golf. He excels in the sport of extreme napping so if you must call, make it after noon.

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